Your Voice Matters: Reflecting on 2011 Listening Sessions

Sometimes the most meaningful and humbling human encounters we have with each other is when we pause and step away from the distractions of emails, smart phones and our “to do” list, to listen to the heartfelt concerns of others that can only be experienced in conversations together. In 2011, the Sisters of Charity Foundation of South Carolina hosted four Listening Sessions across the state with over 200 community members representing nearly 100 organizations participating. Each person present lent their unique voice and perspective to the challenges and opportunities families experiencing poverty currently face. 

In April, Foundation board and staff listened first-hand to more than 20 college students from Claflin University in Orangeburg, some of whom were first generation college students and participants in the federal TRIO program. These students shared some of the struggles they faced in completing high school, their dreams for their future, the importance of positive role models and the many steps of faith they took in order to pursue higher education. One young adult shared, “It’s not how much you have; it’s what you do with what you have.” We also met with committed community advocates and leaders working each day to address poverty in their community.

In celebration of Father’s Day, the Foundation partnered with the South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families, in June, to hear the perspectives of fathers from each of the six fatherhood programs throughout the state. Becoming a father was transformational, as one father expressed the sentiments of all the fathers in the room, “My kids inspire, uplift and motivate me to be a better man and father.” The fathers shared from their heart life circumstances before joining the fatherhood program, how they were able to move forward with the support of fatherhood program staff and the many ways hope has been rebirthed in their lives. 

 In July, Foundation representatives met with community service providers and homeless individuals and families to hear from those experiencing poverty and homelessness in Greenville. The Foundation heard multiple stories of the importance of treating all individuals with dignity and respect, as one individual shared, “There is more to me than my present circumstances.” All of the families desired to keep their family unit together, were working to overcome the multiple barriers faced in order to move ahead and relayed how having people who truly cared about their well-being made the biggest difference in their life. 

In October, Women Religious in South Carolina gathered for a Listening Session, as part of the Foundation’s Collaboration for Ministry Initiative, which assists and supports Sisters in their efforts to meet the needs of the poor and underserved members of society. The Sisters reflected upon their journeys, past and present, and the future dreams they hold for their ministries. One Sister emphasized, “Start with a dream and worry about the money later. God always gives you what you need.” Their stories illustrated the many ways they acted in faith, serving as bridge builders and anchors of faith to community members.

Given the high levels of poverty in South Carolina, there is a lot of work ahead for the Foundation to achieve its vision for all families in South Carolina to have the resources they need to live out of poverty. Throughout each Listening Sessions, we are reminded of the importance of continuing our work by listening to the voices individuals of directly impacted by the issues we care deeply about. They know what is most needed to support their journey. When we stop to listen, we often hear the answers to some of our most pressing challenges today. Let us continue to listen, their voices matter.

Read the full summary of the 2011 Listening Sessions.

Stephanie Cooper-Lewter is the senior director of research for the Sisters of Charity Foundation of South Carolina

A Call to Women to Join the Fatherhood Movement

Courageous, thoughtful and spirited women have led national movements that fought for women’s rights and advocated for changes in attitudes and policies that diminished women. Men, too, have joined with women-led causes.  
 
Now a national movement focused on men needs the active involvement and support of women.  This movement addresses one of the most devastating trends of our time: father absence. The fatherhood movement focuses on men and the well-being of children.    
 
Being a part of South Carolina’s fatherhood movement for more than ten years, I have seen first-hand ways women can support or hinder the involvement of fathers in their children’s lives.
Here are some useful ways women can support fathers.
 
First, support men in their parenting role.  Men parent differently from women. Research shows that fathers parenting style while different from mothers is important in shaping healthy well-rounded children.  
 
Second, encourage men to find help and get support in their role as fathers. Many fathers have not had a positive father role model in their lives. There are growing resources and fathers groups available to help support men in their role as fathers.  For example, The South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families, established in 2002 by the Sisters of Charity Foundation of South Carolina, supports local fatherhood programs in eleven communities across the state where low-income fathers can get help.  
 
Third, women in traditional social service and educational roles should foster father involvement.  For some time, we have focused on empowering mothers as parents to the exclusion of fathers.  Admittedly, many dads have not been around leaving mothers to be the sole nurturer and provider.  We need to acknowledge that children suffer without a father’s involvement.  We should ask the question, what role can or should the child’s father play then reach out to get him to become actively involved. Women can support new expectations, policies and attitudes, that foster father involvement much like men have done for women.  

Fourth, women can contribute and encourage increased resources and funding for fatherhood programs.  While women have fought fiercely for much-needed funding for women’s needs, we too must support funding for fathers for the benefit of children.  Supporting fathers does not mean diminishing what is being done for women.  It is simply a recognition that we need both. 

Finally, when the father is not living in the home with the children, mothers and grandmothers are the ones who grant access for fathers to their children.  Mothers and grandmothers hold the formidable role as gatekeepers.  Too often women vent their anger and disappointment with the fathers by withholding the children.  
 
So women, if not for the men, then for the children let’s get behind the fatherhood movement that calls men to be responsible and accountable while providing resources needed to fulfill their role as actively involved fathers. 

Patricia Littlejohn is the assistant executive director of the Sisters of Charity Foundation and the executive director of the South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families.

Father's Day: Engaged and Active Fathers Are Invaluable

Today marks a little known or celebrated 100th anniversary. In 1909, a woman named Sonora Dodd in Spokane, Wash., was listening to her preacher’s sermon about the importance of honoring Mother's Day. Although she agreed it was an important day, she felt it unfair that no recognition was given to fathers. After Sonora's mother died, it was her father who made the big sacrifices in her life. He was the one who made sure she had food on the table, warm clothes to wear and that she said her nightly prayers. Why then, she wondered, were fathers not being honored in the same fashion?

Sonora began her life's mission to see that fathers received the same recognition as mothers for making the necessary sacrifices for their children. She began having a father’s day celebration during June, her birth month, every year thereafter in Spokane. But, it was not until 1972 (63 years later) that a permanent national observance of Father's Day on the third Sunday of June was established.

Today, we need to ask a similar question as the one posed by Sonora 100 years ago. Why is it that the importance of having an engaged and active father remains largely devalued and unrecognized? While Sonora’s father was loving and attentive, many fathers today are not so involved. Father absence has dramatically increased since the 1960’s. More children are living today in father absent households than during the height of World War II. Research clearly reveals that father absence has significant negative consequences for children, including child poverty. Society and taxpayers pay a tremendous price as well. Because many disregard a father’s worth and fewer people reach out to them, support for fathers is spotty and underfunded throughout our nation.

However, progress is being made in South Carolina. The Sisters of Charity Foundation has invested more than $16.5 million to support advocacy and fatherhood programs in South Carolina over the past ten years. The South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families, an outgrowth of this initiative, supports six fatherhood programs in 12 locations across the state and serves more than 1,500 low-income fathers who want to become great dads. Fathers receive guidance, support, information and resources. They earn respect and are respected.

Support for these programs is worthwhile. They save taxpayers money and change lives. Not just for this generation but for our future generations. We can not afford to wait 50 or 100 more years to prioritize this issue that impacts us all. Yes all of us. Join Sonora’s legacy, the Sisters of Charity Foundation of South Carolina, the South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families and countless other partners who are working to recognize and reach out to fathers. Let your voice be heard. For more information about the Fatherhood Initiative, visit the South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families or the Sisters of Charity Foundation of South Carolina Web site.

Tom Keith is the president of the Sisters of Charity Foundation of South Carolina