A Call to Women to Join the Fatherhood Movement

Courageous, thoughtful and spirited women have led national movements that fought for women’s rights and advocated for changes in attitudes and policies that diminished women. Men, too, have joined with women-led causes.  
 
Now a national movement focused on men needs the active involvement and support of women.  This movement addresses one of the most devastating trends of our time: father absence. The fatherhood movement focuses on men and the well-being of children.    
 
Being a part of South Carolina’s fatherhood movement for more than ten years, I have seen first-hand ways women can support or hinder the involvement of fathers in their children’s lives.
Here are some useful ways women can support fathers.
 
First, support men in their parenting role.  Men parent differently from women. Research shows that fathers parenting style while different from mothers is important in shaping healthy well-rounded children.  
 
Second, encourage men to find help and get support in their role as fathers. Many fathers have not had a positive father role model in their lives. There are growing resources and fathers groups available to help support men in their role as fathers.  For example, The South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families, established in 2002 by the Sisters of Charity Foundation of South Carolina, supports local fatherhood programs in eleven communities across the state where low-income fathers can get help.  
 
Third, women in traditional social service and educational roles should foster father involvement.  For some time, we have focused on empowering mothers as parents to the exclusion of fathers.  Admittedly, many dads have not been around leaving mothers to be the sole nurturer and provider.  We need to acknowledge that children suffer without a father’s involvement.  We should ask the question, what role can or should the child’s father play then reach out to get him to become actively involved. Women can support new expectations, policies and attitudes, that foster father involvement much like men have done for women.  

Fourth, women can contribute and encourage increased resources and funding for fatherhood programs.  While women have fought fiercely for much-needed funding for women’s needs, we too must support funding for fathers for the benefit of children.  Supporting fathers does not mean diminishing what is being done for women.  It is simply a recognition that we need both. 

Finally, when the father is not living in the home with the children, mothers and grandmothers are the ones who grant access for fathers to their children.  Mothers and grandmothers hold the formidable role as gatekeepers.  Too often women vent their anger and disappointment with the fathers by withholding the children.  
 
So women, if not for the men, then for the children let’s get behind the fatherhood movement that calls men to be responsible and accountable while providing resources needed to fulfill their role as actively involved fathers. 

Patricia Littlejohn is the assistant executive director of the Sisters of Charity Foundation and the executive director of the South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families.